In Search of God


a/n : This was my reflection paper in our philo class , in the unit about God. I feel like sharing it. =D!

In Search of God.

  “The infinite is. He is there. If the infinite is without person. Person would be without limit. It would not be infinite. In other words, it would not exist. There is then an I. That I of the infinite is God” as what Victor Hugo tells in the Les Miserables. He is proving that there is someone that limits us and that is an existence of someone we call God. Is there really one? Is he real or just a product of our wide imagination ? I don’t know ‘till I have found it myself.

Eversince I have entered my majorship, it is always a big question for me if God really exists. There are so many confusing concepts that I myself have encountered to made me doubt of what I believe in. At the same time there are experiences that lead me to “lie low” with my so called faith with Him. However, deep down in my heart I know there is God. There must be. He is there. The world is just too noisy that’s why I cannot hear His voice that tells “I’m just here”.

Our philosophy class helped me to be more enlightened in my journey in going back in God’s arm. One of the philosophy I have loved is Thomas Aquinas. Just like Victor Hugo, he proved that there is something that exists beyond us. He has explained it through his five ways in Summa Theologica. The conclusion of the five ways is there is God. Yes, of course. It’s just a matter of reason and revelation. There is a real God it just a matter that “… words cannot do all well except God  … We cannot present God accurately in words. “ (Wittgenstein)

Somehow you are going to ask, If God really exist then why do bad things happen? Why the world does seem so dull? There are always dangers, wars, etc. These kind of questions bring me to a realization with the help of Elle Weise’s Trial of God. He concluded that if wicked things happened it is always God who is in Trial but He shouldn’t be the one we needed to blame. It is those who claimed the title “GOOD PEOPLE” for they have allowed it to happen. They do not do anything but to pray but even the bible tells “Faith without work is dead”. With these good people and their acts toward these kinds of things, I have remembered Paolo Coelho’s quotation with them “The most dangerous people are those who sit and watch what was going on” so they are not really good they are dangerous instead. And it’s true. Another point of Weise’s is that we wrestle with God in times of OUR problem. Isn’t it much better if we struggle with God not just in time of our own dilemma but also in times of the worlds’? It is not God who needed to be blame in times of trouble; it is us who believe in Him. We are the one who is really needed to be in trial. We know what’s right but we do not fight for it.  Like Pastor James Howell have said “God’s will is for everyone, not just for a particular individual” He have made us to help each other not to watch. In addition to the answer, the reason why the earth is full of vulnerabilities, let us be reminded of a song lyrics that “The pain reminds our heart that this is not out Home”.

Science had proven that we have a spiritual gene that enables us to desire and worship a supreme being. In my search of God, I have also told myself like what the character Vittoria Vetra tells to herself ““Science tells me God must exist. My mind tells me I will never understand God. And my heart tells me I am not meant to.” I am not meant to understand God. I cannot really comprehend how great and awesome He is. I just needed to be filled by Him. There are spaces in bosom that He is the only one who can occupy. That fulfillment is the only time that I can only hear his voice calling me. That was the time when my mind finds it’s quietude. And it is when it is in its resting place which is the heart. :

try to listen =P! I just love the song. I don’t know if it fit my reflections but for me. Yea. It fits.


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