Emotional Outbursts. (and setting me free)

Emotional Outbursts.


I am in Love

Yea. Definitely. I guess I am.

I feel a range in my bosom like the sound of the beating gong. This happens not just when I am near your silhouette but also when you are wandering in my mind.


It’s Confusing.

There is something within me that I don’t want to be with you. I don’t want an “US”. I don’t believe in what they call Love knows no boundaries. I have my pride and I don’t want to lose it for something I know I can live without.


It’s not you, it’s me.

I m afraid and I cannot overcome it because I don’t want to. I have foreseen the future of our “US” and there’s a voice that tells me it shouldn’t take place. I don’t want to ruin  both our lives. You, because I have my spiritual backsliding drama and your God don’t want you to be with a person that had that kind of struggle. Me, because I am too professional for you and I have so many dreams that I have to fulfilled and I can’t do it with you. It’s a very big deal for me and I don’t want both of us to end up full of regrets.


I’m sorry.

I cannot see the You and I and the infinity behind it. I don’t visualize myself walking in the aisle and you are the groom that is waiting for me in the altar. I never imagine joyful noise and the bewitching smile we made because we are so in love. I do believe in hearts and flowers and all those mushy things but I cannot picture those things with you.



I don’t know why. It’s my pride.

I know that it’s really painful but I highly believe that we should end things as early as now before we are both messed up because of our so called love for each other. It is what’s good for both of us. I don’t want to take my risks as long as I can still control the upcoming in my life before fate do it to me. Let’s delete and reformat everything. Let’s forget this insanity.


I’m Hoping.

You would understand my stupidity.

You would tolerate my stubbornness.

My wrongdoings or just my decision will be appreciated.

I’m going to be forgiven by you.



I wish that you’ll find the right significant other that you are looking for. Someone who’ll take a risk despite of whatever circumstances you will encounter. And I hope you’ll be happy for me as I am with you.


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